Did you know according to the United States Census Bureau, the number of couples has gradually increased over the last few decades? In 1970 there were only 300,000 couples. But in 2015 there were over 11 million couples, 1 out of every 10 married people, married to a different race partner.
Furthermore, a recent poll shows that by far the majority of people have positive attitudes towards interracial marriage. This is all promising news that indeed, the world has changed. Now people can freely date anyone of any race!
Now the question is, what are you going to do with this opportunity?
Dating Someone New
When you first start dating, or have recently begun dating after a divorce, then your first instinct might be to settle on the first person you get along with. While it’s cool to stay friends and keep a dialog going, don’t be too quick to rush into a commitment.
If you’ve gone a long time without a boyfriend/girlfriend, then your intense desire for intimacy and emotional connection might be misleading. You can start to overlook nagging flaws in your potential partner and even miss some major red flags.
Instead, try to find out who this person really is. There’s an attraction there, sure. But is this just a one-night stand or is it a relationship worth waiting for?
When you meet someone you click with and feel mutual attraction for, you may find that the conversation is very shallow. You sort of talk “at” each other but don’t really understand where the other is coming from.
On the other hand, you can joke together and laugh together. You can appreciate their body and their intelligence or humor. It would probably be fun to go home together and fool around.
But is this a person you want to date seriously? Don’t mistake a powerful attraction to a person of another race as a sign of love or emotional connection.
Real love takes time.
Date Online to Get to Know Your Black/White Sweetheart
One reason online dating or using an app like Black/White Interracial Dating or Tinder, is that you can have deeper conversations online, at all hours of the day, through texting. While it may be more fun to date in person, through texting you can ask more thought-provoking questions.
You can share meaningful experiences and let your partner talk on and on about their favorite activities, memories, and future plans. It’s like having the ability to date someone anytime, day or evening (or even at midnight!) but without the need for a bar or restaurant. It saves money AND it helps your partner open up. Over time, your partner will look forward to getting texts every day.
This is the main advantage of using online dating apps - you can keep it casual or get to know a person’s heart and soul.
Falling in Love
It’s fairly easy to have a fling, since that’s usually only based on physical attraction. But it’s also very easy to “catch feelings” after fooling around. You might actually yearn to see your crush again, even after the first night together because the emotional attraction is so strong.
But is there a right way and wrong way to seriously date? Definitely!
For one thing, don’t get too comfortable after the first night together and think it’s going to be a peace of cake to win your partner’s heart. Just because you LIKE the feeling you have doesn’t mean you should fast-forward to commitment, or even talk about being exclusive. Rushing into commitment is the worst way to start a relationship, even if it does have potential.
Instead, focus your efforts on being fun, open-minded, and always excited to see your crush coming back to talk to you. Create positive associations! Forging intimacy too soon defeats the purpose of early dating: to have fun!
As you spend more time together and begin to learn each other’s personality, you may face new challenges – even special ones that occur because you’re an interracial couple.
No, it’s usually not overt racism anymore. But micro-racisms still do bother people. Sometimes it’s not even the jokes or stereotypes that bother you. It’s the expectations that you have or your partner have, that are simply unfair.
Culture does play a part in an interracial romance. You may have to spend some time learning about your partner’s life and their ethnic culture. This is a time to listen and follow, not question.
At the same time, it’s not fair to assume that just because your partner is of a certain race that they should know better, or they should do this or do that because all (whatever race) people do that! And it’s not fair that your partner should have the same expectations for you!
That attitude is similar to a racial stereotype, the one that assumes things without asking and without listening. That’s why you might say in an interracial romance, that in the end race does NOT play a major part in the relationship, except initial physical attraction. It’s about the emotional connection you have as people, as the same species, and with a sincere heart.